a brother is born

ascending

2008-06-02T14:13:00.001-05:00

jumping off

2008-06-02T10:25:00.001-05:00

The Internet Monk on Christless Preaching

2008-04-24T02:54:00.002-05:00

"At the moment that preacher stood up, one person in that room needed desperately to hear the hope that is mine in Jesus. Despair stalks me. Satan and life dominating sins war against my soul. Religion, motivation, church, music, the pretense of piety, the rituals of synergistic schemes of salvation- all offer me nothing. Christians have failed me. Institutional religion mocks me. Friends do not know me.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus, one soul cries.

Can someone sing “In The Cross of Christ I Glory” as I turn my back and walk away from this kind of religion? I’m looking for the one who, when asked for a great life, said sell all you have and come follow me to the cross."

Check out the full article.

My thoughts: This is the kind of metacognition we ought to engage in. Where is the separation of Christ and everything else in your life? Where should you put the scalpel; what is cultural, personal, and then who is Christ and how does He truly relate to you?

For me, theological thought, my cultural ideals of piety, and the importance of friends, while all good in a way, can intermingle with how I act out Christ. I place them in the same pile, forgetting that culture, friends, and theological theories are passive and in ways transient. Christ, however, is unchanging. He is the one constant, God's plan of salvation for those who trust Him. To allow my relationship with Him to be marred by my own conventions instead of allowing those to be purified by Him, is a sin, and I thank God I have His mercy.

Lady Lydia speaks... but what in the world is she saying?

2008-04-15T01:27:00.002-05:00

The following was an automatically denied response to an outrageous blog entry by the Lady Lydia.
This is apparently old news, but hey it's new to me.

This is an honest question and petition: Can you imagine Jesus, seriously, walking into a scene of poor women wearing cheap clothes, and sneering? Would He honestly care about their clothing? In His culture, people wore simple robes; utilitarian items, and I'd imagine they would get fairly dirty at times. In fact, I'm certain He would take issue with people flaunting name-brand items, even if it is April Cornell.

If perhaps Jesus' robe got crinkled in the back, and made His butt look big, would you sneer at Him? Or how about if the Virgin Mary's skirt got hiked up on accident? I know my clothes have hiked up on me before. In fact, today my zipper was left down accidentally for a few minutes! Even though I love Christ, would you judge me at such an oversight? Also, I've been a little lazy about the laundry for a couple of weeks, but honestly I've got a lot on my mind, lots of personal and school obligations, friends with issues- you know, the usual. I try to look presentable, but sometimes I just have to throw on the pair of wrinkled jeans with a hole in the pocket, and maybe a tuckable shirt that I don't bother to tuck in. Does this make me less of a Christian? Will I stand before the Judgement Seat of Christ and be held accountable for my scraggly dungarees? I think not. I hope you count this a mature comment, even though it is a critique of your opinions.

Please consider these thoughts.

Peace to you.

As an artist, I also take issue with her statement about brown and dying flower. Something can be dying yet beautiful at the same time dude! Following her reasoning why would anyone ever want to paint Jesus bloodied on the Cross? Eh... limited aesthetics bother me, and I will stop before I begin an unbridled rant about Thomas Kinkade's.

crazy young djs

2008-04-11T09:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, I should be able to do this no problem....

re: peter kirk on god's attitude toward humanity

2008-04-10T19:46:00.004-05:00

I just read Mr. Kirk's post on John Piper's view of God's attitude toward humanity. I found this to be quite informative, and allowed me to look at the following ideology more clearly, to realize who odd it is.

I have heard it said that when God sees us, who He really sees is Christ. I have probably heard it said thus because I've grown up in an evangelical culture, but my closest friend, who comes from a Lutheran background, has harped on me that "we all have individuality," in response to a statement like the previous. I have now come to agree with him that individuality is extremely important in how God sees us, not in the sense that any aspect of our person impresses Him, but that He looks at us as individuals. I think Kirk put it well when he says:

In other words, Piper’s view seems to be that God continues to hate humans, except for the only one he actually loves, Jesus Christ. And if he does love Jesus, he showed that in a very strange way, by killing him. Also, in this case, as Polycarp asked in a comment here,

If God hates sinners, then why Christ?

I think that is a legitimate question and a sensible argument. When God looks at us, can He not see us as wretched individuals who love Him?

beautiful rain in spring, only the hills may bring

2008-04-10T01:00:00.004-05:00

Today began so... unproductive. I skipped class, paced about the apartment, practiced on my turntables a little bit (I finally got them hooked up and can live out my small dream of becoming a house music DJ), played some dulcimer, and ate macaroni and cheese... and ice-cream. I also did something that I won't go into in this public forum, but am ashamed about. This was on top of, or in spite of rather, the massive amount of schoolwork I need to have done by next Monday. All of my classes are wrapping up, and thanks to my procrastinating genius, I am now in a mad rush to finish all of my big projects.

As the afternoon wore on, I sat in front of my computer and compulsively checked facebook (did you know I even try to change the TV to facebook? I am a sick individual)instead of beginning my comparative developmental case study paper and Powerpoint. So, as any good son would do, I called my mother for advice:

"MOM! I'm just sitting here and I CANNOT for the life of me do my work! I've put it all off and now I'm stuck..."
"well... what do you want me to do about it?"
"I just need your advice, what should I do?"
"...Have you been outside today?"
"Nooo...."
"Maybe you should try that- get outside, maybe get some coffee- get a change of scenery,"
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.... I guess I'm just frustrated that I lack any form of foresight and now I'm in this predicament."
"Yes I know, darling..." she says in the tone letting me know she has warned me of this every day for the past 20 years.

So I followed my mom's advice, and went outside. I grabbed my school supplies and hopped in my beat up Nissan 240sx. I decided to go to the neighborhood Southwood, since it has wonderful hills on which to longboard. They are long, fast, and wide. I expected a good experience, but was completely surprised; God had intended something much more elegant for me. I arrived at 5:30pm, and was somewhat concerned that the rain would prevent me from longboarding. However, I found an easy, decently long, and dry, hill next to a mystical and unexpected cow pasture (perhaps its unexpectedness made it mystical). Flying down hills instantly became secondary to this new and spectacular sight. The overcast sky and barely damp ground made everything alive, vibrant, and engrossing. The cows ran briskly and congregated next to a large and serene lake, the surface of which was broken only by a cormorant neck poking above the water. A majestic oak reflected off the glassy gray surface. It was quite and windy; everything was relaxed, and it was as if I walked by a stranger, recumbent and asleep, and she is beautiful and unknown, yet her closed eyes warmly invite me, mouth agape, to marvel in her beauty. I want to say something to her, to thank her for grace, yet I dare not touch her, my hand stops and returns to my side, lest I disturb her perfection. Instead, my mind and heart go to their rightful place, and praise God for his evergreen mercies. I am unworthy, filthy. But God has found it fit to Love me, sacrificing Himself so we may be at peace; God and Man. And like a stranger, she is soon gone, yet the thought and mystery of her remain, and until I seen another like her, that is sufficient.

The rest of the day was beautiful, I met some interesting people at Lake Ella: a digeridoist, a massage therapist, an out-of-towner, a support staffer for the Art Department, his 19-month old son who insisted I make a toy merry-go-round spin and spin for him. It was lovely, and anything lovely is a blessing, and blessings come from God, so I thank Him with a reflective smile and glad heart for this very interesting day.

Oh, and I got some work done too.

wrestling with scripture: 1 timothy

2008-04-08T21:53:00.010-05:00

I've recently been struggling with some Scriptural precepts, specifically the ones found in 1 Timothy 2 and 5. I found the author's view that Eve was deceived, and not Adam, false quite frankly. I also felt some of the rules laid out in chapter 5 to be somewhat arbitrary and too broad. So, I searched online and withing 10 minutes found acceptable commentaries that addressed both of these issues. My problems have been essentially solved by being shown to look at these verses in context. When the author of 1 Timothy wrote to Ol' Tim, he was writing to a brother in a specific place at a specific time. It is important to understand that some of the laws he lays out are simply limited to that situation, and do not necessarily apply today. However, the concepts still do. The writer was attacking the influence of Gnostic teachers of the day, taking a polemic standpoint to counteract the destructive influence their false doctrine was having on the women of the community. He was not countering it with more falsity, but simply in a way that would hopefully make the women of the congregation reconsider their actions.

Let me link you to the two commentaries I read- they do a better job than I of explaining this:

Women Priest's commentary on chapter 2 and
Enduring Word's commentary on chapter 5

The point I would like to make here is this: do not become too frustrated when grappling the scriptures, but if you do, focus it in a constructive way, because the answers to your questions will be out there. And don't let your problems with Scripture interfere with your faith in Christ, if you have it.

That's all for now!

matt 25.40

2008-03-31T16:12:00.004-05:00

"I tell you the truth, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me."

I was going to write a story about how I helped out a couple of homeless men today, or rather how God granted me the opportunity to give, but I'm not going to tell what happened. It doesn't really matter, nor does it matter who these men are. What matters is that in an hour of helping people who are in real need, God will bless you and teach you more than you can learn in months of theological discussion or attending Bible studies and church groups.

tries and tries and tries

2008-03-30T22:05:00.003-05:00

tries and tries and tries
amount to dirt in my eyes
a fleeting wave, panic. pain.
on my knees washed with water
the whites are red and crushed
and i never saw them again.

Ejecting the Material

2008-03-26T23:12:00.002-05:00

Uneventful eves breed the greatest depth of wisdom.

On this one, we lay and discuss the Truth, usefulness, meaning, and the surgical measures of God to, as I read, "Grow a flower out of manure."

A man longs for adventure, finds it in the pillows of dollars, a rain of assets. He purchases obscene houses, unnecessary vehicles, and parachutes. Or, material excess becomes the burden to shed, the block to all reality, attempts are made to unbutton the dress shirt and pull off the tie, quickly throw off the loafers, and in this the man's adventure is initiated. He runs to and fro, dodging intimacy and good will- The man thinks Truth lies on the bottom or on the top- and like a precipitous sinkhole and a tall tree, each path has a fatal outcome. Both relish in extremities of materialism; in fighting it, the one becomes entangled in it. Only when one extrapolates the essence of Life, that is, Christ, from one's love or hate, or ambivalence, towards materialism, is one then truly free from its vice grip. So money is nothing and poverty is nothing, and the life of the middle class is nothing, but Christ is everything. For when one realizes one's total insufficiency, Christ becomes the only image of Truth.

an easter drive

2008-03-23T23:17:00.003-05:00

a winter stream satisfied with itself,
for widening under a coy causeway.
she is heavy and gray, without want.
she loves me pure in her pregnant eyes.
she flows to my foolishness, as i pass,
where fireflies float in slow motion,
a silent waltz in spring.
sing to me sweet stream,
love me with all your soul.
my heart laves your mercies;
some yellow summer dress
dries in the branches by your shore.

the deprivation sensory

2008-03-18T10:35:00.003-05:00

I cannot feel God, I cannot hear,
I am a deaf meandering in dark hallways
touching walls, door handles,
of them are thousands and ten thousands,
and are all as cold to grasp as the first.
The vibrations of laughter shake my
sensitive skin, full of sweat and rage.
Where is my God? Without You I cannot Live,
nor Love in full; the Word feels dirty.
A filth from my eyes, a disgust on my lips-
Where are You?!
O my foolish mouth, the liar
Drenched in otherhate and selflove,
you will say anything to save your bones.
Would you say the Blasphemy to ease
the pain?
You lack courage to do what is right.
There is no strength in your body.
Do not deny what you Love
Do not bite the hand that feeds,
for you would surely die.

Go in peace, you blind liar,
and destroy yourself.

straw man

2008-03-09T23:36:00.002-05:00

Hello, straw man, what have you there?
A lie? A truthless lizard's stare?
A smile? An easy way out?
Hello, straw man, hear of the drought?
Holds bales liable to fire,
You hypocrite: the halcyon liar.

The Charlatans' House

2008-03-09T19:53:00.005-05:00

To home, to place:
Lost in sinks of mammon.
Mockingbird love and kitty-cat grace
Are cutesy cacodaemons.

put your ducks in a row

2008-03-07T09:34:00.005-05:00

The other day in my Theory and Practice for Art Education class, a student told us about a visit she had to an animal rights group meeting on campus. She said they talked about Lake Ella's duck overpopulation (anyone who has been there knows, there are a lot of ducks)and someone proposed an apparently well received solution. They suggested going to Lake Ella and smashing all the duck eggs they could find. Of course we all were horrified at this idea, saying how disgusting it was and how inhumane.

As I continued on with my day, however, I wondered how many of those people wouldn't bat an eye at a human abortion. Most art students are fairly liberal as far as that sort of thing goes. My thoughts are, "Why in the world do people care so much about duck eggs, yet show none of the same respect for their human counterparts? 'Overpopulation' at Lake Ella (do these activists take a census?)is a ridiculous reason to do such a thing, but the same who think that would say the costs of being pregnant justify killing a baby, or the fact that it reminds them of when they were raped is justification enough. This again goes to show how much we care when the choice doesn't involve us, doesn't have to do with something we understand. But when choices are hard and they impact our so-called freedom, we will think of whatever we can to justify putting ourselves first, and in this case,to primarily save the money and the hassle. Why the hell do we care so much about duck eggs? I think it is because we despise ourselves, because we view life as burdensome, and thus in our "generosity" we would spare the child a life-not-worth-living. A friend also said we react to this "duck egg" kind of situation as an escape from reality; if I can worry about these poor creatures, then perhaps I may escape my responsibility to my fellow man or woman. I think both of these ideas are valid, because I understand these attitudes, and wrestle with them at times. Think about this yourself; and expose this attitude in your heart, and when you find it,

Abort that.

walking till my feet ache

2008-03-05T14:28:00.004-05:00

I went to Border's bookstore today after I had finished a couple of
hours of in-school observation for my art education classes, and I was
a little depressed by what I saw. It wasn't anything out of the
ordinary, nothing hugely controversial, but it got to me nonetheless.
There was this particular periodical on the magazine rack that caught
my eye; "The Real Jesus" was printed boldly on the front, with a
traditional oil painting of... I was going to say of our Savior, but
it's not like anyone actually sat down and drew his portrait, is it?
But yes, this pictorial representation of what we think Jesus looked
like, or whatever. Anyway, I found myself wondering, "The real Jesus?
Don't we already know this? Can't we be content with the Jesus we have.
I'd say He's pretty much alright as it stands." I became annoyed as I
read. And what annoyed me I think is that the words on the page, the
pictures, the titles, just seemed like the words of a giant, wheezing,
windbag. Like a whoopee cushion. A whoopee cushion in print, screaming
at me from a bookshelf.

I decided to move over to the Christian section. In these moments of mine, these times of cynicism, skepticism,and overall hardness of heart, I do not want to look at the
"Christian Inspiration" type books. I find the idea vacuous and superficial, and perhaps this is true even outside my weak emotional state, but perhaps the thoughts just come more easily that way. I'm not saying these are necessarily bad for everyone; maybe somebody can get joy out of books with titles like, "Be A Better You in 7 Steps" or "Life is a Merry-go-round with Jesus!" or some such nonsense. To be frankly honest, I think my life would be far easier and happier without Christ.

Does this mean I dislike Jesus? Sometimes I do. Why? Because He goes against everything my flesh wants. Do you dislike your parents? They give you masses of love and affection, if they're any good, but that never stopped anyone from sneaking out of the house to throw rocks at a fence or whatever kids do. God prods me to do things that I just don't want to do. God chastises and corrects, so yes, there are times when I don't appreciate that. But then I suck it up and get over it. But I don't hate Jesus.

I don't hate, but love Him for a few reasons. But first, I want to clarify what I mean when I say "I'd be happier without Christ." I view happiness as a state of
blissful ignorance, a mental position of freedom from care and concern.
Generally, I don't get this from Jesus. What I get from Jesus is an
acute awareness of my idiocy, an understanding of the absolutely ridiculous
amount of evil and deceit in this world, and my inability to do
anything at all to stop it. But I also have something else entirely,
which is Jesus Himself; I have the meaning of Life, and Life itself.
Does this make me happy? No, it makes me joyful. It sustains me, and at times does far more than that. At the least it is a slow drip-drop of gasoline into my fuel cell, and at the most, it is a practical hydrant of wet, gassy Love that cannot help but get all over everyone.

I doubt that sounds appealing, but that's what I understand a walk with Christ to be: uncomfortable, hard, depressing, joyful.

CS Lewis once said:

"I didn't go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity."

Amen.

questions for a good day

2008-03-02T17:19:00.004-05:00

This is a journal entry from January 2, 2007:

Today was a good day overall. I had spaghetti for lunch, and got into the
Word for a bit as well. I read Mark, where Jesus raises the girl from
the dead, and I think how crazy that is, and how I so badly want to see
stuff like that. Just some more incentive to continue in the Lord. I
watched some Scrubs also, which is a funny show, but the cynicism gets
to me. I went and picked up my mother from her school, and that was
pretty fun. I tried doing the dishes without complaining when she
asked, and was mostly successful. I really want to be more patient with
her and my dad as well, because if any earthly beings deserve my love
and respect, it is them. In a way I wish I had more time here in Jacksonville
,just to chill with them, but I do want to return to Tallahassee.I feel my heart settling in
there, with the town and people. It is hard having people you love in
different places, but I suppose your heart must be where your body is.
Ah, no this is not true... your heart must be in heaven, in eternity.
If your heart is set on what is eternal, it can be at once with
everyone, everywhere.I pray I may have an eternal
perspective. This place is not my home.

As I read this now, over a year later, some questions present themselves. Am I too easily pleased? Is a nice bowl of spaghetti all it takes, and is that all I'm willing to strive for? But then isn't striving bad, pointless? If I love Tallahassee, why do I not show her my love; where is my service? What is the nature of "self improvement"? Is it waiting for the Lord only, or is it participatory, and if it is a combination, what is the balance?

What are your thoughts?

ronald weinland, "prophet"

2008-03-01T11:42:00.002-05:00

I'd say a surefire way to stay away from false teaching is to note when the teacher promotes themselves. Have a look at the fifth of six important facts at the bottom of his page, but read the rest too. I'm sure you'll find that the fact that Ronald Weinland knows the exact day of Jesus' return enlightening. Apparently there's a surprise party, and Jesus is the only one who can't know about it. Another helpful hint is to note that essentially no emphasis is placed on Christ.

My dad told me a story once of a family friend of his in Rhodesia (way back in the day) who was a Jehovah's Witness, I believe. For the reason that they believed they knew the exact day Jesus would come back, or that world would end, they refused to treat their son for an illness he was suffering from. Needless to say, Jesus didn't come, and their son never got treatment, and their son died. End times belief like this can be terribly exciting in a Lord of the Rings kind of way, but in reality following teachings like Weinland's can be deadly.

There the Lord Commanded

2008-02-29T18:46:00.007-05:00

Consecrated Blessing
To Life forevermore.
To Live forevermore!
In Life forever for
Sacred Coalescing!

The call: reverse and change!
For connection,
In convection.
Sweet correction....
White Blood, Justice arrange!

abrotherisborn.

i have laid next to jesus

2008-02-28T11:20:00.008-05:00

I laid next to Jesus once. Really, it happened. I think it was a Christmas or two ago, that this thing happened. Some people have visions, some dreams, but I laid next to Jesus. I remember the night, although it was really like any other night- cold, for Florida, quiet in the house, as my parents were already asleep. My mind still ran, in fifth gear more than likely, and I probably involved myself in something unproductive, like TV watching or internet surfing. But I remember feeling lonely, doubtful. I remember feeling depressed, burdened. I remember feeling like I can often feel.

I walked out on the tile floor to our living room, where the Christmas tree stood. All the lights were off, except the tree lights, which were my responsibility to unplug. The tile reflected in a blurry way the reds and greens of the bulbs, as they gently, slowly, quickly, rhythmically pulsated and danced for me. As I stood there, stopped in my way by the splendor that is the piney arbor of X-mas, I stared at them, pondering… nothing at all, but everything all the same. I cried to myself, “Jesus….” It was so weak and pathetic. I was tired in so many ways, so I laid down on the cold tile, which felt quite lovely, like my face had just laved the Ichetucknee head spring. I quieted my mind, I breathed slowly, I tried to forget my shortcomings, my burdens, all that, as I did that, I felt Him there. My God! As I imagined these wonderful things- peace, joy, freedom, love- I imagined Jesus. Have you ever seen rock, only to realize you were looking at a mountain? And in one of the most physical ways I can remember, I felt Him next to me, I felt Him embrace me, nearly literally, and I smiled. He turned my tears into joy. He metamorphosed my burden into His lightness.

And after I had spent time bathing in the pure spring of His Love, I stood up, my hair matted and saturated, water dripping off the tip of my nose. I performed my duty and turned the tree lights off. My lips curled into a smile, I razzed my lips, sent spring water misting, and pushed some hair off my forehead realized, I think I’ll go to bed, and I won‘t bother drying off.

abrotherisborn.

on salvation, briefly

2008-02-27T23:11:00.005-05:00

This is a response to a post on apostasy from Peter Kirk of Gentle Wisdom:

Look at Phillipians 2:12-13, where we are charged to work out our own salvation, but we are also told that it is God who works in us. We are also told that God works all things for the good of those who love him. There is that "if" clause in there, but the way I've viewed this matter is that if one is truly a Christian, then God will continue to conform them to the image of his Son, as he promises. But if one is not truly a Christian, and is one who says, "Lord Lord," but is not known by Christ, then their fruit will show the evidence. So pragmatically, I have faith that God will save me because I love him, and I know his love is greater than mine, so in that I find security, yet I also feel that if somehow I am not in relationship with Christ, he will hopefully make that apparent before I die. In that thought I do tremble, but honestly I do not feel much fear from that idea, at least not now, and in fact the fear of that continues to lessen as I grow. Perhaps it is because my love is being perfected by our Lord, and fear is being cast out.

I hope that made sense; I'm rather tired and this is such a hard topic! I was going to say something short and sweet about salvation, but then I realized I couldn't do that without raising a crap-ton of questions. Anyway, love Jesus.

abrotherisborn.

climbing the ladder

2008-02-27T15:35:00.007-05:00

I was just thinking today about a former co-worker at a job I held last summer waiting at an "upscale" Chinese restaurant (think Ted's Montana Grill, but trendy and from Canton... and without the buffalo). We called him Roy, mostly because that is his name. He was a Christian, in the Pentacostal vein, so there was a lot of Benny Hinn and general TBN watching on his part. During my stint at Jade's Bistro, I was feeling dissatisfied with my Christianity, that is, as my status as a "little Christ," so I looked at this guy's life and wondered what he was doing differently, because to me he seemed to really believe what he was talking about, and to be excited about it. The most obvious difference was that he payed attention to guys like Benny Hinn and... whoever.

So I did too.

Big mistake. I know people have gone on and on about these folks, so I won't do that here, but what I will say is, get your spiritual food from a trustworthy source, like the Bible for instance, or get morsels from a friend whose life you are familiar with. Trying to understand TV's favorite miracle-healer left me thinking I must be an unfaithful person if I can't free people of physical ailment or be freed from it myself, because I thought, "These guys are so ON FIRE. They are so DEDICATED. They must know exactly what they're doing. Besides, Benny Hinn says if you bring an accusation against him, God will smite you, so yeah, he must be the real deal."
The mindset I only partially developed, thank God, was deleterious in that it focused on how other people related to God, not to mention that what was being planted in my mind was spattered with bad theology, and generally felt dishonest. So for a time, and I think I still struggle with this, I gave my faith to some guy on basic cable. I gave my faith to Pat Robertson and Christian books, and to religious literature and pseudo-religious websites.

I understand that behind all those books and TV personalities are real people, hopefully trying to follow Christ in truth and integrity, so I'm not going to rail on them right now. What I will harp on is my foolish trust in what they say, in their own theology and experience. Maybe there's nothing wrong with what what they believe, but I think there is something deeply wrong when I tried (and try) to make what they have my own. I have my own breath for a reason, for a purpose, and to forfeit that to some mortal life is not only impractical, but it is also sacrilege. It was a selfish striving to be better for the sake of being better.

But I cannot be any more now than what I can be.

Think of this concept in education. There is an developemental theory called the "zone of proximal developement," which says that at any given stage of developement, there is physically and mentally only a limit to what a person can understand. For instance, if you give a four-year-old a piece of paper and a crayon, and show him a Rembrandt, or heck, even if you show him a drawing a six-year-old did, he is simply not going to be able to copy that drawing, no matter how hard he tries. His brain and his muscles are just not capable; it's not in him. In order to teach that child, or any child, the teacher must reinforce what he already knows, and then reach just a le-e-tle bit higher. The child can grab on to the next rung of the ladder, then the next, and then the next, but that's all he can do. Maybe it will be more of a stretch sometimes, and maybe sometimes it will seem like the rungs come down to meet him. It is all part of learning.

And this is the way it is with spirituality and spiritual growth. God builds those in Christ in the way that He knows is best, and if that means I can't understand certain spiritual truths or have all the faith I want, well there's a good reason for that. It's out of my "zone of proximal developement." What that reason is specifically though, I can't pretend to know, but I do know God provides me with grace through Christ, and that ought to be enough for right now. I guess my point is to keep climbing the ladder, but don't be afraid if those hands and arms seem enduringly wrapped around your current crossbar.

There was another point I wanted to make, and it was really my original point. I remember standing at the Jade's Bistro half-bar, and watching TBN or something on the flatscreen with Roy, and Benny Hinn was on. Roy said:

"You know, Benny Hinn, he's really got the anointing, he's got that anointing. When he was a young man, God he really grabbed a hold of his heart, so he just hungered he hungered for the word of God. He just had to get it. He worked at a ice-cream place and he would just read his Bible there, his face in the book, just handing people their ice-cream, without even looking at them. Boy, he paid the price all right, he read that Bible eight hours a day. He has the anointing, yes, but he payed the price."

And early this morning as I recalled what he said, I thought:

"That has got to be one of the most rediculous things I've ever heard. He paid the price? What price? He got to read a book he thoroughly enjoyed? That is no price to pay! Guys from the beginning, the Apostles, like Peter, Paul, and Stephen. And Jesus! Those guys payed the price. They died for faith, they died for men's souls. They didn't just read a lot. So the next time I or anyone else thinks they or their loved one is paying some sort of price for what they believe, they ought to think of the countless Christians who lost their lives for the love of God and for man. When I have been scourged and died, when I have been humiliated and mentally abused, then I still have no right to complain. And there are people who were joyful when this stuff came upon them, because of the hope they had in Jesus. The world was unworthy of people with such faith.

And you know, I think that's where the last rung of the ladder is."

abrotherisborn.

welcome

2008-02-27T01:40:00.012-05:00

Wow, it has been a very long time since I've looked at this blog, since I posted the pictures that populate this blog about two years ago. Honestly, I cannot help but simper with nostalgia and sadness and irony as I peruse these old stills (which are in the yarchive, if you're interested), these portraits of unique moments in time, never to be repeated. One friend in these has moved on, down to South Florida, and I don't see or talk to him anymore, and another friend I see very often, yet am no longer friends with. Yet another I am friends with, but never see. In fact, most of the people in these photographs are far removed from my life nowadays.

That's odd.

I remember having these feelings of closeness and excitement that I shared with them, this joy of being in college, finally, of being free. And now much of it has simply... gone. Oh well. Perhaps a lot of the friendships I had at the beginning of college were superficial in the first place. In a perfect world, in the kingdom of heaven, would we all be friends? Is it our selfishness that stops us from true intimacy with our fellow man? Probably that has a lot to do with it, but sometimes people just grow apart I guess, by no particular malice prepense- nothing more to it than an evolution of self, and changing of station. As some song probably says, "Life goes on."

At any rate, I suppose I just want to introduce this blog. I want to say, "This is absolutely the only unique contribution I can make to this rediculous planet: My Life. And hopefully you can see something is this momentary painting that you empathize with, something that speaks for you, something that can pray for you. I hope it inspires you to think with your heart. I hope it bears a brother for you."

And I hope you paint on this canvas, too.

abrotherisborn.

2006-01-20T10:49:00.000-05:00

Jason and I. Jason is Julius Ceasar, and I'm a peonarazzi.

2006-01-20T10:48:00.002-05:00

El Jefe!!! Part Deux.

2006-01-20T10:48:00.001-05:00

Jon and me in Jefe's car. Van.

2006-01-20T10:48:00.000-05:00

Woah, Scott. Watch where you point that thing, man.

2006-01-20T10:47:00.000-05:00

Suwannee House.

2006-01-20T10:45:00.001-05:00

Whoa, Scott. Watch where you point that thing man.

2006-01-20T10:45:00.000-05:00

Steve looks like a baby. Or something.

2006-01-20T10:44:00.000-05:00

Study session.

2006-01-20T10:37:00.000-05:00

House Partay!

2006-01-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

Jon, Jason, Phil, Kyle, and Chris at the Diner. Funny note, I almost always spell Chris' name as Christ the first time around.

2006-01-20T10:17:00.002-05:00

Matt aka Garlich and Josh aka Engaged.

2006-01-20T10:17:00.001-05:00

Jon. 'Nuff said.

2006-01-20T10:17:00.000-05:00

Dan and me. Currently, Dan is sexier.

2006-01-20T10:16:00.001-05:00

Eric and Scott. Nord and Monkey.

2006-01-20T10:16:00.000-05:00

Your mom wants you to eat at Jimmy John's!

2006-01-20T10:15:00.000-05:00

Dan doesn't eat sandwiches, he vaporizes them.

2006-01-20T10:14:00.002-05:00

Jason, Jon, room. They are good friends.

2006-01-20T10:14:00.001-05:00

Dan the man with the master plan ran cause he can! Booya!

2006-01-20T10:14:00.000-05:00

Jason. Also 'nuff said.

2006-01-20T10:13:00.001-05:00

The Room Part 5. Why are these uploading in wrong order?!

2006-01-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

Josh and I. 100%, baby.

2006-01-20T10:11:00.001-05:00

The Room Part 3

2006-01-20T10:11:00.000-05:00

The Room Part 4

2006-01-20T10:09:00.000-05:00

The Room Part 2

2006-01-20T10:08:00.001-05:00

El Jefe!!!

2006-01-20T10:08:00.000-05:00

The Room Part 1.

2006-01-20T10:06:00.000-05:00

Kyle, Chris, and Phil. Andrew and I were also here... at Popeyes. Love that Chicken.

2006-01-20T10:04:00.000-05:00

Chris. Dorm. Funky lighting.