i have laid next to jesus

I laid next to Jesus once. Really, it happened. I think it was a Christmas or two ago, that this thing happened. Some people have visions, some dreams, but I laid next to Jesus. I remember the night, although it was really like any other night- cold, for Florida, quiet in the house, as my parents were already asleep. My mind still ran, in fifth gear more than likely, and I probably involved myself in something unproductive, like TV watching or internet surfing. But I remember feeling lonely, doubtful. I remember feeling depressed, burdened. I remember feeling like I can often feel.

I walked out on the tile floor to our living room, where the Christmas tree stood. All the lights were off, except the tree lights, which were my responsibility to unplug. The tile reflected in a blurry way the reds and greens of the bulbs, as they gently, slowly, quickly, rhythmically pulsated and danced for me. As I stood there, stopped in my way by the splendor that is the piney arbor of X-mas, I stared at them, pondering… nothing at all, but everything all the same. I cried to myself, “Jesus….” It was so weak and pathetic. I was tired in so many ways, so I laid down on the cold tile, which felt quite lovely, like my face had just laved the Ichetucknee head spring. I quieted my mind, I breathed slowly, I tried to forget my shortcomings, my burdens, all that, as I did that, I felt Him there. My God! As I imagined these wonderful things- peace, joy, freedom, love- I imagined Jesus. Have you ever seen rock, only to realize you were looking at a mountain? And in one of the most physical ways I can remember, I felt Him next to me, I felt Him embrace me, nearly literally, and I smiled. He turned my tears into joy. He metamorphosed my burden into His lightness.

And after I had spent time bathing in the pure spring of His Love, I stood up, my hair matted and saturated, water dripping off the tip of my nose. I performed my duty and turned the tree lights off. My lips curled into a smile, I razzed my lips, sent spring water misting, and pushed some hair off my forehead realized, I think I’ll go to bed, and I won‘t bother drying off.



abrotherisborn.